Signs It Might Be Too Soon to Move In Together 

"I'm moving in with my girlfriend in three weeks. Hoping to finish all my life's farting before then."

In the journey of love, one of the most significant milestones is the decision to move in together. It's more than just sharing a physical space; it's about intertwining lives, learning to coexist and building a home together. But, like any monumental step, it comes with its own set of challenges and considerations. It's not a decision to be taken lightly or rushed into without thoughtful consideration. This exploration will delve into some of the signs that you might have moved in together too soon, and provide insights on how to navigate this complex yet exciting phase of your relationship. Let's embark on this journey together, exploring the nuances of cohabitation and the path to harmonious living.

Lack of Financial Discussions

Discussing finances is a critical step before moving in together. This conversation should ideally cover income, debts, savings, and financial goals. It's not just about ensuring that you can jointly afford rent or a mortgage, utilities, groceries, and other shared expenses. It's also about understanding each other's financial habits, attitudes, and expectations. For example, one partner might be a saver while the other is a spender. One might have significant student loan debt, while the other is debt-free. These differences don't necessarily spell doom for a relationship, but they can lead to misunderstandings and tension if not openly discussed and addressed.

Moreover, it's important to discuss how the household expenses will be split. Will it be 50/50, or will the partner who earns more pay a larger share? Who will be responsible for which bills? Will you have joint bank accounts, separate accounts, or both? These are not always easy conversations, but they're necessary to avoid future conflicts.

The bottom line is, that transparency about finances is key when considering living together. If these discussions have not yet taken place, it might be too soon to move in together.

woman sitting

Navigating Major Life Changes

These major life changes often require time, energy, and emotional bandwidth to navigate effectively. Adding the complexities of merging households, adapting to each other's living habits, and managing shared responsibilities can lead to overwhelming pressure.

For instance, a career shift might bring about changes in income, work hours, stress levels, and overall lifestyle. Dealing with these changes while also trying to establish a harmonious living arrangement could create tension and conflict. Similarly, experiencing personal loss often triggers a period of grief and adjustment, which requires space, understanding, and patience. It could be challenging to provide that level of support while simultaneously dealing with the stresses of moving in together.

Therefore, it's typically advisable to navigate these major life changes individually before taking the step to combine households. This allows each partner to cope with their own situations, find their footing, and emerge stronger.

couple standing on a beach during sunset

Early Stages of Recovery

Recovery from addiction is a journey that requires personal focus, strength, and dedication. It's a time for self-discovery, healing, and growth. If you or your partner are in this transformative stage, it might be too soon to move in together. While support from loved ones is crucial during recovery, the added pressures and responsibilities of cohabitation could potentially distract from the recovery process. It's important to give yourself or your partner the space and time needed to fully engage with the recovery journey. Once a solid foundation of recovery has been established, then it may be the right time to consider taking the next step in your relationship.

Moving In as a Solution to Problems

Moving in together is a significant step in a relationship, and it should be taken for the right reasons. If you're considering this move as a solution to existing problems in your relationship, it's time to pause. Cohabitation isn't a magic cure for relationship issues; in fact, it often intensifies them. The close proximity can magnify disagreements, misunderstandings, and differences in lifestyle choices. Rather than resolving your issues, living together might bring them into sharper focus. It's essential to address and work through these problems before leaping to share a household. Remember, a strong and healthy relationship is built on understanding, communication, and resolution of conflicts, not merely proximity. So, take the time to nurture your relationship first, and when it's robust and healthy, consider taking the next big step.

Uncomfortable in Your Shared Home

Your home should be your sanctuary, a place where you feel completely at ease and can truly be yourself. If you're feeling uncomfortable or strained in your shared living space, it might be an indication that you and your partner moved in together prematurely. The rush to share a home can sometimes overshadow the need for personal comfort and space, leading to feelings of unease and discomfort. It's essential that both partners feel equally at home, with enough room to express their individuality and maintain their routines.

If you find yourself tiptoeing around, unable to relax, or constantly compromising your habits, it's time to have an open conversation with your partner. Discuss your feelings and work together to create a living environment that accommodates both of your needs. This might mean setting boundaries, agreeing on shared responsibilities, or even reconsidering your living situation. It's crucial that your shared home is a place of comfort and peace for both of you. A happy, healthy cohabitation starts with feeling at home, together.

cat in the box


In conclusion, moving in together is a significant step that requires careful consideration and preparation. It's not a remedy for relationship problems, nor should it be rushed during times of personal recovery. It's essential to feel comfortable and at ease in your shared home. Open communication, mutual respect, and understanding are key to successful cohabitation. Remember, it’s about building a shared life together while also maintaining your individuality and personal growth.

Natasha Love



Meet Natasha Love, a compassionate and dedicated Life Coach, Article Writer, and Dating & Relationship Coach who has been transforming lives for over 15 years. As a successful and happily married mother of two, Natasha is the embodiment of balance, love, and wisdom.

With an innate ability to connect with people from all walks of life, Natasha has devoted her life to helping others navigate the complexities of relationships, personal growth, and self-discovery. Her extensive experience and natural flair for communication have made her a sought-after expert in her field.

As a Life Coach, Natasha focuses on empowering individuals to unlock their full potential, guiding them to overcome obstacles and create fulfilling lives. Her articles are insightful and thought-provoking, offering valuable advice and inspiration to readers worldwide.

In her role as a Dating & Relationship Coach, Natasha's expertise extends beyond romantic partnerships. She also works tirelessly to help her clients build strong, healthy connections with family, friends, and colleagues.

Natasha's commitment to her craft is evident in the countless lives she has touched and the lasting impact she leaves on her clients. Her unwavering dedication to fostering love, understanding, and growth makes her a beacon of hope and a true testament to the power of human connection.